“i watched you change into someone you said you’d never be.”
(via acceptvnce)

(Source: x69o)

(Source: thehumanzee)





I just thought.

Lucky I didn’t get that fucking key tattooed on me, ain’t it?

(Source: diasconredfox)

Have to make a potentially difficult decision.

One of my ears has always been a bit hearing impaired, but back in October-ish, that ear suddenly couldn’t pick up any low noises at all. After a few tests since then to examine it, the doctor said today that there’s a large hole in my ear drum, and that I have a choice between doing nothing and permanently losing that part of my hearing, or going in for an operation to try and fix it, that has a 50% chance of even helping.

A proper operation too, under anaesthesia and all that. I haven’t had an operation at all since I was roughly 3 or something, so you know, bit nervous.

I haven’t got to make a decision straight away or anything though. I can do this operation in a few years if I wanted to, and I’m not in any pain at all. Just don’t know whether to do it or not. If I do, I won’t until after the summer though. I won’t let my ear put a downer on that.

Just going to take time to do my research on it, discuss it with people, and come to a decision. That’s the best way to deal with it, as with most other things.

I'll see you soon...

Somehow I’d never heard this Coldplay song before today. Beautiful.

(Source: buckin-love)

Update for myself.

I feel happy, and actually a bit more confident now. I talk a lot more, and I put myself out there more, even with little things like shaking people’s hands or hugging. It makes all the difference.

Even after the 5 months it’s been though, I find it difficult to think of her and not have my stomach wretch a bit. Writing about it makes it a bit easier.

I haven’t looked at her shit for ages, must be a month by now, and was only when she was looking at my Tumblr. My head finally figured there was absolutely no point in looking and that I could be way happier by not looking.

I still have that temptation, before I slap myself and remember why I stopped looking in the first place. It’s like dieting in a funny sort of way.

My mind just wanders a lot to things I’m excited about. I’m excited for summer, I’m excited for the travelling I’ll be doing, I’m excited for moving out after this summer, I’m excited about this big project at work which I’m taking strong responsibility for, I’m excited about the new people I’ve met and will meet and I’m excited about sleeping in my new redecorated rethought-from-scratch bedroom.

I miss some of the old times, though I don’t miss her. I miss her friends, a lot, and her family. I even miss the drive to Harwich in a funny way, because I used it to think about stuff.

Still not thinking of new relationships. I talk to a lot more girls than I used to though, and I am starting to feel like I could be ready soon. I’m not rushing into a new relationship like she did, I’m taking it easy to be fair to the person I’ll be with.

Oh, I’m a lot fitter now too. All this free time has given me the chance to exercise, and I’ve won Man of the Match for the football team I’m part of 3 times (in just the last 5 weeks too), more than any other player in the league. I’m happy with my body and weight, and I’m even considering running at least half of the London marathon next year. I’m not 100% about that yet, but it’s a real possibility.

I’ll leave it at that. I really am ok, and I’m even proud of myself.

“That girl, makes me wanna be a better man.”
Better Man - Paulo Nutini

It’s all falling apart! I’m erasing you, and I’m happy! You did it to me first! I can’t believe you did this to me.

It’s all falling apart!
I’m erasing you, and I’m happy!
You did it to me first!
I can’t believe you did this to me.